I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
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She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
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I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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