i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
