I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
