Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
