Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
