Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
