Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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