You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
