Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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