so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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