A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
