Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  my head looks like a cockatoo

  (1-305): View more from Florida

  mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom

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  (305): my head looks like a cockatoo (1-305): mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom http://tfl.nu/w2nh
  Replies (10) Good night (997) Bad night (1471)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.

  (512): View more from Texas

  Did it?

  (806): View more from Texas

  Not as such, no.

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  (806): I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes. (512): Did it? (806): Not as such, no. http://tfl.nu/c480
  Replies (37) Good night (576) Bad night (4553)
• Favorite

  (478): View more from Georgia

  I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell

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  (478): I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell http://tfl.nu/mqh8
  Replies (29) Good night (6316) Bad night (670)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.

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  (910): This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods. http://tfl.nu/a6lo
  Replies (11) Good night (4912) Bad night (1003)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.

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  (517): Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that. http://tfl.nu/tw02
  Replies (4) Good night (858) Bad night (2210)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  ... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace

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  (716): ... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace http://tfl.nu/lenw
  Replies (11) Good night (865) Bad night (1934)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.

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  (406): You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior. http://tfl.nu/tu51
  Replies (6) Good night (1540) Bad night (1250)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?

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  (914): Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea? http://tfl.nu/04z0
  Replies (8) Good night (1328) Bad night (639)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded

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  (904): I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded http://tfl.nu/240k
  Replies (9) Good night (5368) Bad night (710)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.

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  (309): You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed. http://tfl.nu/qkqo
  Replies (2) Good night (1653) Bad night (359)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer

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  (513): He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer http://tfl.nu/5hwv
  Replies (2) Good night (768) Bad night (432)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.

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  (413): I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket. http://tfl.nu/1du9
  Replies (0) Good night (406) Bad night (277)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.

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  (256): Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life. http://tfl.nu/8lve
  Replies (5) Good night (654) Bad night (259)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...

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  (415): I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think... http://tfl.nu/7nf2
  Replies (11) Good night (320) Bad night (529)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.

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  (+61): I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality. http://tfl.nu/cwc2
  Replies (4) Good night (417) Bad night (392)

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