If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
21 Signs That A Dude is Probably Insane
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later