My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?