Texts From Last Night

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  (512): View more from Texas

  its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.

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  (512): its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants. http://tfl.nu/mk0c
  Replies (46) Good night (1313) Bad night (4722)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?

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  (407): i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub? http://tfl.nu/tcak
  Replies (33) Good night (8399) Bad night (869)
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  (805): View more from California

  im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking

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  (805): im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking http://tfl.nu/diqd
  Replies (26) Good night (4452) Bad night (847)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  please don't let me die tonight

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  what have you done for me lately?

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  (203): please don't let me die tonight (860): what have you done for me lately? http://tfl.nu/9vcn
  Replies (18) Good night (4979) Bad night (1410)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.

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  (404): I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck. http://tfl.nu/f2m7
  Replies (45) Good night (26236) Bad night (1530)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  i cant cry in cvs. not again.

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  (803): i cant cry in cvs. not again. http://tfl.nu/7epn
  Replies (8) Good night (1059) Bad night (3742)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.

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  (517): I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high. http://tfl.nu/trcx
  Replies (20) Good night (3398) Bad night (1409)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?

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  (708): So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS? http://tfl.nu/0qn8
  Replies (25) Good night (2058) Bad night (4405)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  dear god, who put you in a cab?

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  (267): duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19. (856): dear god, who put you in a cab? http://tfl.nu/6o92
  Replies (21) Good night (4657) Bad night (1116)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?

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  (207): remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are? http://tfl.nu/u6le
  Replies (6) Good night (2476) Bad night (811)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them

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  (706): I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them http://tfl.nu/sm11
  Replies (10) Good night (1641) Bad night (797)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.

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  (210): I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted. http://tfl.nu/x81s
  Replies (8) Good night (561) Bad night (1191)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess

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  (773): How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess http://tfl.nu/u340
  Replies (7) Good night (521) Bad night (971)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.

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  (727): After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since. http://tfl.nu/pkb8
  Replies (2) Good night (340) Bad night (826)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?

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  (720): Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet? http://tfl.nu/zkp2
  Replies (6) Good night (436) Bad night (286)

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