i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!