I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
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mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
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was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny