Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Swine flu. Run for my life!
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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