just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
