You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
