he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
