so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
