I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
