C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
