her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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