He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
