and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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