hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
