You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
i think my cat just said my name.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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