whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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