Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
