Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Ketchup is God's man juice
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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