quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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