dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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