I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
