Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
