Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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