ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
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I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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