My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
