My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
