Me. At least after what I've been through.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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