so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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