Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Randomize
