I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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