Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I'm passing your future prison.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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