to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
