Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I believe in your delicious
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
