I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
