farters have to be the big spoon...
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
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If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
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I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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