party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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