Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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