is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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