she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
