Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
