I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
