it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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