sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
