You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Someone shattered a urinal.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
