mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
