Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
