we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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