just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
