My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
