So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Randomize
